I’ve got a dog

He’s got balls but he’s still just a pup and people want to cut them out.  Poor little fella simply wants to eat my chooks and make me happy. He’s only doing what comes naturally.

Sometimes I torment him. Sometimes I beat him*. He just keeps coming back for more and more, he’s quite jealous of me and who I see. I think that’s sexy. I give him a pat.

He’s totally black except for a white spot under his chest. Old time Gook once told me “Black dog, blue tongue, tasty” and I see what he means.

When I’m sitting out alone with my headphones on he sits beside me, laid out unassuming.

Everyone knows what that means.

Except for him.

The bitch comes in some times and he gets pretty riled about that, taking shots at her neck, chewing on her collar, or her cheek. He bites. Allright.

My dog is the best friend I’ve ever had and he’s getting better all the time. Pretty soon now he’ll be old enough to come hunting, taste flesh, bring it back to me.

I love that little fella even though he shits me quite a lot. Everything he does is just to please me. I really don’t want him to have his nuts cut off, but, that’s what the women want.

*(Not really, but I just wanted to offend PETA)

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3 Responses to I’ve got a dog

  1. regsipco says:

    A pretty good version of Lennon from Cheap Trick:

    Once tried to fuck some slut and this song came on. Got a fat of slow precision. Losing manhood is not only hard, it’s completely debilitating. Not that it’s the thing to be, but, you lose it and something has to take its place or else you’re lost

  2. Pat Hannagan says:

    Is there some point to this?

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